”An even fiercer blush was the answer. Siobhan’s answer was a whisper.“Why would you admire my looks, Lady Carter? You are so beautiful yourself. I, with my crooked nose, cannot hold a candle to you.”“Well, for one, my dear Miss O’Shaunessy, let me assure you that the minor imperfection you mention does not detract at all from your beauty which is considerable. Secondly, and knowing men, most will see your hair, your eyes, and your bust, and never even remember you having a nose.”Siobhan had to giggle at that. “So true, Lady Carter. Sometimes, it seems that they speak to my chest, at least that is where their eyes rest.”“I can imagine. We shall have to emphasise this further, my dear, to dazzle potential supporters for your petition. Our first order of business will be a visit to Bond Street where my good friend Elizabeth Wilson will fit you with dresses that will display your charms to their utmost advantage.”“L-Lady Carter, I-I am not such a woman! I live in Belfast with my aunt,. Unlike the years she was on birth control, close family were not allowed carnal access until she was preggers.She’d better go consult Granny who seemed to know everything. The older woman had at least graduated high school, more than either of her own parents had managed. Granny had stopped at four offspring, far fewer than most, and still looked damn good at fifty.Sipping coffee, “MM” as she liked to me called, complained, “Granny, Ah cain’t git a bun in mah oven. Ah’ve tried a bunch fer two munths and it ain’t worked.”“Well, chial, tell yer Granny how yew bin tryin.”MM related the numbers as best she could. There were so many she kinda had to make some estimates.“Well, chial,” said Granny, using a phrase that she was famous for, “Ah thinks yew be tryin too hard. No, thet lahst word ain’t referrin to them man parts what yew’ve had plenty of stuck inter yew. Ah means yew’re screwing TOO much.”MM opened her eyes wide, “Be that possible?”“Yes, chial, it is. Ah think yew had so many.
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